But where is here? Eight months ago I answered the question ‘Where will you be in five years?’ and answered it with a fairly simple goal: a finished education, an apartment downtown and a band that’s getting good publicity, with maybe a girlfriend thrown into the mix.
Eight months ago, I was sure that I’d be at the university now, making American Studies my bitch, hanging out with new people, and generally enjoy my final years of studying. As it turns out, I wouldn’t be that lucky.

Even though I did sign up for the education, and actually followed classes for two days, it turned out that one of the documents I had wasn’t valid at the university. Without the document my enrollment couldn’t be finalized, which meant that none of the results I would get would be of any use.
That means I have to wait for the better part of the year before I can apply again, but before I can even do that, I have to complete a special test that will allow me to apply without the necessary diplomas or certificates. It is basically an exam at high school levels, where I have to take he test for four courses (Dutch, English, History and another one). If I pass those exams I pass the test and I’ll be able to apply to the university again, this time with a valid document.

So, that part of my five-year plan isn’t going too well. I’ll still be able to finish the Masters Degree within the set limit, but the apartment and job bit will have to wait a bit longer. It took me a while, but I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve been working a lot lately, in order to save up some funds for when I finally do start my education, and it has been pretty lucrative so far. I’m not as worried as I was back when I first got told that I couldn’t attend classes anymore, either, so that’s a good thing as well.

As for the rest of my plan, which is basically just the band part, that’s doing pretty well. On average we play one gig a month, most of the time we get asked to play a show rather than us having to beg for gigs at different venues, and we recently won out first competition. There has been talk of performing on festivals, we’re well on our way when it comes to writing material for our first album, we have a very decent amount of fans who support us in everything, and the quality of what we do improves with every new track.
We have been at it for nearly two years now, we already recorded one EP, we have had plenty of gigs so far, and there are plenty more coming up. We’re doing good, even better than I had expected when I first joined the band, and I couldn’t be more proud and excited to be part of this thing. C69 might very well be one of the best things that has every happened to me.
When I look back at the finale of that competition I mentioned, which was also our best show to date, a huge grin keeps appearing on my face. The crowd was absolutely fantastic, the energy on stage was amazing, and I’ll never forget the looks on the faces of my fellow band members when we finished the set. We all looked, and felt, euphoric. I’m pretty sure that we all felt that we could take on the world at that moment, and when we won first prize we were sure of it.

As for the girlfriend part of my plan, I’m not in a rush. Right now I want to focus on the band and my education, and that will take up pretty much everything I have in terms of time, money, and patience. It’s not that I would turn down an opportunity for love if it comes across my path, but I’m not actively looking for it, either. As soon as I have a decent, steady job and a place to call my own, I’ll start worrying about things like family and the rest of my future.

At the moment I’m perfectly fine with living in the now, taking in life as it comes, doing things I love with the people I consider my friends. I might not have the time for that in five years, so I’m going to enjoy it while I can, because I can.

Our band, right after receiving first prize

Waar zie jij jezelf over vijf jaar? Die vraag hoor je wel eens, op tv, in een film, of gewoon in het wild. Ikzelf heb daar tot op heden nooit zo bij stil gestaan. Ik heb altijd gedacht dat ik dan nog bezig zou zijn met wat ik op dat moment aan het doen was, zij het cameraman bij de lokale omroep, of m’n studie.
Inmiddels ben ik zesentwintig en ziet het er naar uit dat ik over drie (en een half, technisch gezien) jaar klaar ben met die studie. Als het allemaal gaat zoals ik dat wil ben ik dan afgestudeerd met een Bachelor in de Amerikanistiek. Dus, dacht ik, misschien wordt het eens tijd om over die ene vraag na te gaan denken. Waar zie ik mezelf over vijf jaar?

Over vijf jaar heb ik die opleiding afgerond en heb ik een baan waar ik me op mijn plaats voel en die me financieel goed kan onderhouden. Ik woon, misschien wel samen met m’n vriendin, in een appartement in het centrum van Tilburg, dat tevens dienst doet als fotostudio. De band is landelijk bekend en begint ook in het buitenland een naam op te bouwen.

Dat is het. Verder ben ik tevreden met hoe mijn leven is. Ik heb goede vrienden, en ik ga er vanuit dat ik die tegen die tijd ook nog heb. Misschien veranderen er wat gezichten, maar desalniettemin geloof ik niet dat ik zonder vrienden kom te zitten. Niet omdat ik zo geweldig ben, maar omdat ik met vrijwel iedereen goed overweg kan. Mensen maken het af en toe zo moeilijk voor zichzelf, ze kunnen zich zo druk maken over anderen. Ik heb dat niet. Iedereen is evenveel waard, en zo behandel ik ze ook. Ik ben niet meer of minder dan anderen, zij zijn niet meer of minder dan ik.

Ik zie m’n toekomst vrij helder voor me. Althans, de toekomst die ik graag voor mezelf zou zien. Maar, dat heb ik zelf in de hand. Dromen kan, maar als je het alleen bij dromen houdt komt er niets van. Je zul ervoor moeten werken. Ik ben ontzettend trots dat ik, met horten en stoten en de nodige moeilijke momenten, mezelf van de MAVO naar de universiteit heb weten te studeren. Ik ben wel wat langer bezig, maar het is wel iets wat ik op eigen kracht (gesteund door vrienden en familie natuurlijk) heb bereikt. En inmiddels ben ik zover gekomen dat het stom zou zijn als ik dat allemaal zou laten vallen, om God moge weten wat voor reden dan ook.

Er zijn ook genoeg aspecten van die toekomst die een volledige verrassing gaan vormen. Wat voor baan ga ik krijgen? Ben ik tegen die tijd iemand tegengekomen met wie ik op z’n minst een deel van m’n leven ga doorbrengen? Wie weet vind ik tegen die tijd wel helemaal geen geschikte woning. Er kan van alles gebeuren in vijf jaar. Stik, er kan van alles gebeuren in een week. Ik geloof niet dat het pad naar de toekomst vast ligt. Ik geloof liever dat je je lot zelf in de hand hebt, dat je zelf bepaalt wat er te gebeuren staat. Ik geloof al heel lang in keuzes en hun gevolgen. Je kiest zelf voor iets, en dat heeft een gevolg, en daar komt weer een keuze achteraan, en zo blijf je bezig. Je hele leven is terug te leiden tot de keuzes die je hebt moeten maken. Zelfs bij dingen die je niet in de hand hebt, zoals het ontslagen worden van je baan, of bij een ongeluk betrokken raken horen keuzes. Je kiest er niet voor om ontslagen te worden, of om aangereden te worden, maar je kiest wel zelf hoe je daarna met je leven verder gaat.

Hoe vaak denk je wel niet ‘Als ik dat had gedaan was er dit gebeurd, of als ik dit had gezegd was er dat gebeurd’? Dat zijn die keuzes. En het is niet meer dan logisch dat je af en toe twijfelt aan die keuzes. Het is ook zeker dat je niet altijd de juiste keuzes zult maken. Maar uiteindelijk zijn het de keuzes die je maakt die je leven vormen.

Ik kies ervoor om zelf vorm te geven aan mijn leven, en dat kan ik anderen ook van harte aanraden. Leef je eigen leven en kies je eigen keuzes zonder je wat aan te trekken van de meningen van anderen. En dan bedoel ik niet dat je anderen volledig moet negeren of kunt laten vallen. Van luisteren is nooit iemand slechter geworden. Ik bedoel alleen te zeggen, laat een ander niet die keuzes voor je maken.

/Rutger

HULK UNWRAP!

Inside the Hulk-head was a Red Hot Chili Peppers album. Now, I like the RHCP, but I’ve never been a huge fan, so I was kind of surprised, since I hadn’t expected anything like this. Especially since it was the Limited Special Edition of Stadium Arcadium, which isn’t your ordinary jewelcased CD. It’s a rather large box, filled with all kinds of stuff. I only just found out that the retail price is about seventy bucks, while I was looking for an image of the box set.

I'm pretty sure there's a CD in there somewhere

Now, if you’ve been paying attention, seventy bucks is sixty bucks over budget. Apparently my friend managed to find this slightly damaged display model, which only set him back ten bucks. The damage? A bit of cardboard came loose from the bottom half of the box, and there’s a bit of glue residue on the plastic front. I can live with that.

What really got to me though, was the stuff that’s inside the box. Besides the album, which is two CD’s plus an extra DVD, there’s a cardboard booklet with all the lyrics and fantastic photography and lay-out worked into it, where one side starts with the red (Mars) CD lyrics and if you flip it up-side-down, you get the blue (Jupiter) CD lyrics.
But once you get through the booklet and the album, that’s when you uncover the real treasures this box holds. Inside the box are four smaller compartments. Two of those are covered with a lid. The two that aren’t covered up have a bunch of round objects in them: a wooden spinner and a couple of cardboard prints you can slide over the spinner’s peg, so that they form patterns when you spin the little toy.

Round and round it goes...

Underneath the first little lid I found a couple of folded papers, along with a small booklet.
The first paper has a green hand print (I suspect it was a baby’s or a toddler’s hand, judging the size) with the message:

‘I want to say hello in every language so I’m using this hand – The hand greets the world, it makes the best gifts, it is a universal tool to communicate, it brings us sound. -CS’

The second paper seems to be a map like the ones I use when I go hiking. There’s a whole lot of lines in a bunch of patterns, which I recognize as the altitude lines going around mountains like on those maps I mentioned. Over the lines are pasted an eye and a red bar, along with three names. The names are Babs Gonzales, Slim Gaillard, and Poppa Jo Jones.

The third and last paper (although, according to the above image there should be four papers. I guess that’s another reason this box was cheaper than usual) Has a smiley-face drawn on it, underneath a series of what appear to be scratched out words but which are, on closer inspection, several words written on top of each other. To me, they look like the names of the band members. There is also a short text, reading:

‘The world is yours. You are not as attached to time as you think. Make a connection with a tree or a plant. It is more important to be yourself than to hide things. The tools of the artist give you a chance to twist and bend the laws of nature and to cut-up and reshape the fabric of reality.’

Finally, there’s a tiny yellow and brown booklet. The front has the band’s name and the logo of the album on it. The back says ‘slow cheetah come before my forest’, and the spine says ‘…mirror to the moon…’, which I recognize as a line from the album’s title song.

I have nothing witty to say about this.

Finally, underneath the second lid, there was my favourite item. When I first discovered this one I was completely speechless. The unexpected shock of something so simple was enough to throw me back years into my life, back to when I was a little kid playing out on the streets. It was a little satchel with four marbles, three small ones and a bigger one, in various colours.

Simple, yet universal

It’s amazing how four little glass objects can have such an impact on me. When I think back to that night where I first took them out of the box I still get that nostalgic feeling that overtook me back then. I can’t count the hours I’ve spent looking at the colourful swirls embedded in the centre of the glass, or how often I spread them all out on the floor just to put them back in the big plastic bucket one by one, inspecting each one carefully.
I hardly ever played the game though. Friends of mine did, and the people at school did, but I just collected them. It didn’t even matter what kind, as long as I could fill up that bucket.

No...just...ugh

Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good metaphor for life, isn’t it? We’re all just trying to fill our buckets, whether it be with love, money or experiences, everyone is collecting something for their own big, plastic bucket. Only today, we call it personal luggage. And today, we usually consider it a bad thing.

“Don’t go out with that one, she’s got loads of emotional luggage.”

When did the idea of a full bucket change from good to bad? When was falling and getting back up turned into something you don’t want to be associated with? Is this what Mr. Dylan meant with “The times, they are a-changing”? Or maybe Blink182 said it with “Well, I guess this is growing up”. Either way, lately I’m find myself asking why? Why make it all so hard on ourselves? Life’s hard enough with us making a big fuss about it.
A friend of mine recently posted something on-line. She said that people often think that they know what others think, and that they form a judgement based on those assumptions. She continues to ask, why don’t people just ask what those others think? It’d make life so much easier, wouldn’t it? I think it would.

The questions are so simple, too. What do you think? How do you feel? Are you okay? These days, those questions are just formalities. You ask someone how they’re doing, and you expect them to say ‘fine’, because you were just being polite, and really, you don’t have time for his troubles because you’re having too much of them yourself.
Did it ever occur to us that maybe we could help each other, simply by asking these things? What happened to calling someone, just to ask how they feel? Not calling because you need something, but just because. I was just wondering how you were doing. What are you up to lately? How’s life these days?

What are you wearing right now?

And take your time, too. Listen to what the other person has to say. Don’t call because you have to, call because you want to. These calls don’t just take a minute, either. A ten-minute phone call is considered long these days. I remember being on the phone with a girlfriend for hours on end. And half of the time we weren’t even saying that much. Back before cellphones (Christ, I’m that old) it was good to have that connection. I’m not saying that every phone call should take hours, but good conversations last at least half an hour. Maybe a little less, maybe a little more, but on average, I’d say that thirty minutes is a decent estimate.

But it’s not just phone calls, of course. Talking on the phone is one thing. It’s the face to face conversations that are the tricky ones. It’s all about body language. On the phone, you can hear by the intonation of the other person’s voice what they’re trying to say. Facial expressions and body language add a whole world of understanding to the mix.
I know, I know, turning a laid-back evening of games and drinks into a Dr. Phil episode isn’t going to fly, and catching up with a friend you meet at a bar doesn’t really work either. But why not call a friend you haven’t really talked to for a while and go out for a couple of drinks? Get a table at the local pub and just shoot the shit, talk about what’s happened in each other’s lives. And for God’s sake, don’t feel weird about it. People used to do this for centuries. Before the radio and the TV, it was the number one pass-time of the average family. And if all else fails, break out the board games! Play some Monopoly or something. That takes long enough to start a good conversation.

Board games not your thing? There’s plenty of card games. I hear poker was getting pretty big. Poker is pretty much Yahtzee with cards. Right? I’m not sure. Anyway, I’m sure that would work. Those guys on TV always seem to have a good time.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that there’s something seriously wrong with our way of communicating nowadays. We all care about our own buckets, but consider other buckets to be a burden. Think of it this way though, if you lift something heavy with two people, it’s never as heavy as when you lift it by yourself. Help someone sorting out their marbles. Get rid of the bad ones, share some of your good ones, inspect them together…just don’t try to take them all away from them by winning a silly playground game. We’re too old for that shit.

We are not black and white anymore

And finally, don’t lose your marbles. Even if you’ve lost everything

else, you’ll always have the marbles to keep you sane. I don’t know if you remember anything from that movie Hook besides Robin Williams in tights, but there was this one character, Toodles, an old, confused man, who kept talking about his marbles and how he’d lost them.
In the end, Peter Pan (or, Robin Williams in tights) returns to Toodles with his marbles, after which the old codger exclaims that he didn’t lose his marbles after all, proving once and for all that he had been a Lost Boy, just like he always thought. In the film it turns out to be a pretty crappy metaphor that can be interpreted as “You’re wrong until you can prove otherwise”, or you could say “Never stop believing in yourself”, which is probably better, but the fact remains that you don’t want to lose your marbles.

The little satchel in the RHCP box reminded me of Toodles. The first thing I said to my friend was how it reminded me of that film, and how that would never happen to me now that I had these marbles of my own. I’ll probably never forget saying that. It might be my very own crappy metaphor, but it works. Sometimes I think about that night and what I said. Then I remember the marbles, and for a second I can see that little kid I used to be, sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by a vast rainbow of glass orbs in all kinds of sizes. It’s right then that I know for sure that I haven’t lost mine yet.

It’s amazing, what a couple of pieces of glass can do to a man.

/Rutger

Hij heeft een punt.

Een nieuw jaar. Dat betekent nieuwe kansen, een schone lei. Althans, dat willen we graag geloven. Vroeger trapte ik daar nog wel eens in. Een hoop vuurwerk, een keer laat opblijven… het was nogal wat. Dat moest wel wat betekenen. Maar nu ik ouder ben en zelf mijn jaarwisseling in kan vullen merk ik dat het allemaal rook en spiegels is. Na het grote feest ben ik nog niets opgeschoten. Ik heb dezelfde schulden, ben nog altijd single, sta er nog steeds hetzelfde voor op school en ben ook maar één dag ouder geworden. Het enige wat er is gebeurd, is dat er een jaar voorbij is gegaan. Elke vierentwintig uur gaat er een dag voorbij. Elke zestig seconden een minuut. Zo gaat dat.

2010 was voor mij geen uitzonderlijk jaar. Dat was 2009 ook niet. Ik ga er niet vanuit dat 2011 zoveel beter gaat worden. Dat wil natuurlijk niet zeggen dat het niet kan. Er kan van alles gebeuren. De band begint nu langzaam van de grond te komen, dat zou wel eens een flinke verandering kunnen zijn. Stel je voor dat we doorbreken! Halverwege het jaar weet ik met zekerheid of ik het volgend schooljaar aan de universiteit van Nijmegen kan beginnen, dat is ook behoorlijk wat. Wie weet kom ik dit jaar iemand tegen. Het is niet te zeggen. Het kan alle kanten op. Wie weet word ik beroemd, wie weet word ik aangereden door een onoplettende buschauffeur. Het kan vriezen en het kan dooien. Zo gaat dat.

Goede voornemens doe ik ook al een tijd niet meer aan. De dingen die ik wil, wil ik al langer. De doelen die ik voor mezelf heb gesteld staan er al een hele tijd. Ik heb geen vuurwerk en oliebollen nodig om te beseffen dat er iets aan mijn leven moet gebeuren. Problemen die opgelost moeten worden ontstaan niet tijdens de jaarwisseling, die zijn er al, daar ben je (hopelijk) al lang mee bezig. Een oplossing vind je ook niet aan het eind van het jaar, die zoek je het hele jaar door. Als je het echt wilt, dan doe je het gewoon. Zo gaat dat.

Momenteel heb ik vier doelen. Vier richtlijnen, vier problemen, vier mikpunten, het maakt niet uit hoe je ze noemt. Je kunt ze voornemens noemen, maar doe dat dan ook in de zomer, wanneer je het verst van Oud & Nieuw af zit en je komt ze voor het eerst tegen. Vier simpele punten die ik wil behalen. Misschien niet allemaal in dit jaar, maar desalniettemin vier punten die ik hoop te verwezenlijken.
Uit de schulden komen, dat is het eerste doel. Een doel dat ik binnenkort nog ga behalen. De universiteit is doel nummer twee, en ook dat doel ga ik dit jaar halen. Het derde en vierde doel zijn even belangrijk als de eerste twee, maar nummer drie en vier hoeven niet binnen nu en een korte tijd realiteit te worden. Het zou wel mooi zijn, daar niet van, maar het is geen noodzaak. Nummer drie en vier zijn een relatie en doorbreken met de band. Dat zijn dingen die je kunt beïnvloeden, maar niet kunt afdwingen. Wie weet kom ik iemand tegen met wie ik de rest van mijn leven door ga brengen. Misschien ziet een platenlabel ons ergens optreden en krijgen we een contract aangeboden. Wellicht gebeurt dat binnen een half jaar. Waarschijnlijk duurt dat langer. Het enige dat zeker is, is dat je het nooit met zekerheid kunt zeggen. Zo gaat dat.

Wat ik eigenlijk wil zeggen is: leef zoals jij wilt leven. Volg je hart, maar vergeet je gezond verstand niet. Wacht niet met goede voornemens tot er vuurwerk wordt afgestoken. Uiteindelijk heb je maar één kans om het goed te doen. Fouten maken mag, is gewenst zelfs, maar vergeet niet om van die fouten te leren. Leef in het heden, maar zorg dat je de toekomst en je verleden niet uit het oog verliest. En vergeet vooral niet te genieten. Voor je het weet is het voorbij en heb je een eeuwigheid om terug te kijken op hoe je het hebt gedaan. Ik hoop dat ik dan terug kan kijken zonder al te veel spijt te hebben van gemiste kansen. Ik hoop dat ik dan met plezier terug kan kijken, ook naar de minder sterke momenten in mijn leven.

Ik hoop dat het zo zal gaan.

/Rutger

Don't worry, that's not my blood.

I was nervous as Hell though. This was my first ever time on a podium. I had no idea how it would go down, and I was scared that I would forget the lyrics. Especially when the turn-up was way bigger than we had anticipated. My nerves went through the roof. The venue was completely packed even while we had to be on stage at 6pm, or in other words: way too early for a rock-band to perform. Still, I couldn’t even see the people in the last rows. It may not have been a very large crowd, maybe sixty people all together, but this was the first time C69 went on stage. We expected about ten people, maybe fifteen, but not that the place would be packed. So yeah, as more and more people came in, I got more and more nervous.

Nervous, as demonstrated by the weak smile. Also the look of fear in our guitarist's eyes.

When we started playing though, it all washed away. It was awesome. I still don’t really remember how it all went down, all I know was that I was there, fuelled by adrenaline, singing like there was no tomorrow. And I never screwed up my lines. The audience was amazing and the band went nuts. I had the time of my life. After we were finished and left the stage, I couldn’t really believe what just happened. We played for half an hour, but it felt like only five minutes had gone by. I don’t care how often I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, it was awesome.

They gave me a microphone and everything!

In February we’ll be playing a venue in Belgium and I simply can’t wait to get back on the stage again. I have no doubts that I’ll be nervous when we get up there, but still, I can’t wait. I just want to get back on there and show the world what C69 is all about. I don’t care how scared I get, I know that as soon as we start everything will be fantastic. For at least 30 minutes, I don’t have a care in the world. It truly is another dream come true.

Applause, applause, and exit stage right. Thank you, goodnight!

/Rutger

De tekst die hierna volgt is een alinea die voor de hoofdpersoon misschien wel de belangrijkste gebeurtenis in zijn leven beschrijft. Althans, in zijn leven na de epidemie. Het vindt plaats vlak nadat hij bij zijn ouderlijk huis terugkomt en besluit de overige huizen in die straat te controleren.

“Ik weet nog dat we het, voor het virus, wel eens hadden over de vraag of we nog wisten waar je was toen er een bepaalde grote gebeurtenis had plaatsgevonden. Waar was je toen de vliegtuigen de torens van het WTC omlaag haalden. Waar was je toen Pim Fortuyn neergeschoten werd. Waar was je toen Barack Obama de eerste zwarte president van de Verenigde Staten werd. Die dingen.
Inmiddels is er een nieuwe vraag die in dat rijtje past. Waar was je toen je voor het eerst een bijter hoorde. Ik ben nog geen enkele overlevende tegengekomen die zich dat niet kon herinneren. Elk detail, alles wat er aan vooraf ging, de momenten erna, het blijft je allemaal bij. Alsof dat het signaal is dat de wereld onomkeerbaar is veranderd. En eerlijk gezegd is dat het ook. Je beseft het op dat moment nog niet, maar vanaf dat moment is de wereld niet meer hetzelfde. Simpelweg omdat je vanaf dan weet dat die wezens bestaan.
Voor mij was het dat moment. Het moment vlak nadat het lichaam zich tegen de deur aan had gestort. Na die klap was het een fractie van een seconde stil, maar daarna begon het. Een diep, rochelend geluid. Het geluid dat je hoort  wanneer de longen zich vullen, en de langzame, ratelende kreun die zich naar buiten wringt als die lucht zich een weg baant langs de stembanden. Vanaf dat moment wist ik dat mijn leven, en al het andere, nooit meer hetzelfde zou zijn.”

Uit: Tilburg Z, hoofdstuk 2.
© Rutger Schreuders, 2010

Don't keep us waiting man!

I am going to record an EP with my band.

Holy shit, that is awesome!

That’s right. Yours truly will be a recorded artist in a matter of weeks. As most of you may know I am one of two singers in the metal band C69. We’ve been working on our songs for roughly half a year. Now, with five tracks done and the sixth in the making, we have decided that it’s time to take it to the next level. And so we’re recording an EP. It will have three tracks (four, if time allows us), and we’ll be selling it at shows, the pub, and in shady back alleys, if we happen to have them on us. We probably will.

You WILL buy it.

Anyway, you might be starting to wonder what the title of this blog is all about. I can imagine that. So far, it makes no sense whatsoever. But bear with me, it’ll all be clear in a matter of moments.
You see, everyone has goals in their life, reachable or not. Some might even call these goals ‘dreams’. So might not. In any case, dreams are more than just those crazy things you think about when you’re asleep. While I do have those, I’m currently talking about the dreams you have of becoming something big or reaching a certain goal. I have some of those as well, and believe it or not, being in a band has been a big one for years.

Even though this was technically correct, it was not what I was looking for.

Ever since I started to appreciate good music, I wanted to be part of a band. I have tried starting a band, which ended in failure. I have tried playing an instrument, which also ended in failure. Then I found out that I could sing a bit, and I wasn’t a very bad rapper, either. For about three years I made hiphop with a friend, but after those years we found that he was moving a lot faster than I was, and decided to each go our own way. Since he was the man who made the beats, that basically left me with some lyrics and an amount of utter confusion about Fruity Loops.
Fortunately, the band of some of my friends broke up. By fortunately, I mean fortunate for me, since three of the guys decided to continue with a different band, and at some point I was invited to one of the rehearsals and, in a strange twist of fate, was accepted into the band.

One of us...one of us...one of us...

Things went pretty well, we wrote some songs, and the rest is history. Or it will be, after it has actually happened. And that’s basically what the title of this incoherent blog means: dreams do come true. Sometimes. A few years ago I never expected to be a rapper in a metal band, and this Sunday we start recording our first EP.

You know how people say that you’ve got to work hard to reach your dreams? While I’m not going to deny that hard work is usually what it takes, I can confidently state that you don’t always have to. Me joining C69 was more of a coincidence than anything else, and making music isn’t what I would call hard work. I love doing it, and I hope that we’ll be doing it for years to come. Being in a band is awesome, and being in C69 is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

So remember that name, because if it’s up to us, C69 will be one of the big ones.

/Rutger

Er…

Of my new browser which apparently integrates blogposting in a handy little sidebar.

Monday, April 26th – Early Departure

Getting up early is never fun to do. Today, however, I had no difficulties doing just that. Our bus would leave for England at seven in the morning, so that meant I had to get up at six. Thankfully, I packed everything the day before (That sounds logical, but I have been known to pack my luggage for a week-long vacation on the day we were leaving), so it was just a matter of getting some breakfast and getting to the parking lot where we would all meet up.
When I got there, all my classmates had already arrived, so it was just a short wait for the bus to join us, which it did after about ten minutes. We found our seats and got comfortable (Which was surprisingly easy, so credit to the organisation for the bus and it’s well-humoured driver Harry) and ready for the journey to come. As mentioned, departure was at seven. Arrival was scheduled at around six or maybe seven that night, meaning we’d be travelling for about eleven hours.

Our transport for the week

The trip itself wasn’t very spectacular. We played some cards, listened to some music, cracked a lot of jokes and I drove everybody insane with a Texan drawl which I kept up for the entirety of that day. We had a couple of stops where we could stretch our legs and get something to eat, but other than that it was just your basic international bus trip. Except for one stop.

Bam! Stonehenge!

I have never even crossed the Channel before, so this monument was the first bit of British culture we got to see. It was impressive to behold, but I couldn’t help but notice that it is actually smaller than I had imagined. When you see the ring of rocks on TV or on a photograph, it looks majestically huge and mysterious, but when you’re standing there next to the thing itself, it’s hard to get into that mood. There are tourists, the highway is a couple of yards to your right and there are footpaths and signs telling you to keep off the grass. Still, it was breathtaking. The simple thought that these huge rocks have been here for thousands of years while no one even has a clue as to how they even got there blew my mind. Adding to that, it’s not even clear what it was used for. The best guess people have is that it once was a Pagan altar, which sounds plausible enough, but which is still a well-voiced guess.

Mystery at it's best

After Stonehenge we made our way to Bristol, where the hostel we would be staying at was located. At arrival, I noticed that the abbreviation they used to name their hostel was YHA. Remember where I said I was doing a Southern accent all day long? Imagine how thrilled I was to find out that we would be staying at Yeehaw Hostel.

Yeehaw!

The hostel was fantastic and by far the best place abroad I have ever stayed at. The rooms were clean, the beds were comfortable and the staff was very cool. The main entrance hall doubled as a lounge where they served beer from 09.00 till 01.00 every day and there was a gameroom with incredibly comfortable couches and boardgames.

It was more exciting than the look on his face might make you think it was.

We didn’t do a whole lot that first night. We walked through the program for the remaining days, had a vegetarian dinner and basically spent the rest of the night in the lounge drinking beer and having a good time.  I had a bit too much to drink and we went to sleep a bit too late, but thanks to the comfortable beds, the first night went off without a hitch.

We don't make our beds. We're rebels.

Tuesday, April 27th – Bathing, shopping, walking

We spent most of the next day in a little town called Bath, aptly named because of the ancient Roman baths they still have there. Ten points for originality. It was really impressive though. The original parts they still had have been there since 43 AD. That’s about two thousand years ago.

He looks good for his age though

It was a beautiful sight to behold. After all these years, Mother Nature still pumps hot water into the temple, which was built to honour the goddess Minerva, even though it wasn’t recommended to actually touch the water because of the pollution by the algae that gave the water its bright green colour.

Coincidentally, this is what my bathroom looks like

After visiting the baths we were turned loose on the city itself, which turned out to be very female-oriented. Most of the shops were clothing stores, so the guys spent a lot of time waiting for the girls to come back out. Luckily it was a sunny day and Bath turned out to have a lot of very admirable female inhabitants, so we managed to get through the wait fairly unscathed.

This is how we roll, apparently

One of the highlights in Bath was our idea to pull off a flashmob. Basically, one of us would casually walk down a busy street, stop dead in the middle and start staring up at nothing in particular. Then, gradually, the others would join them in staring up. One of us would stand a little further down the street to film the reactions we got. Of course, people stopped to look up as well, turned their heads or whispered to each other, trying to find out what we were looking at. We did this three times. It worked like a charm every single time. It was hilarious.
The second highlight of that day was in a clothing store. I was just about to pay for a pair of shorts and a blouse when my mate walked up to me, threw something on top of my stuff, and said that I should have that too. At first, when I saw that it cost five pounds, I was reluctant. Then I saw that it was a big Sheriff’s star. It easily made my day.
Lastly, the third highlight came to pass in a supermarket. I had been looking for Cadbury Crème Eggs ever since we arrived in England, and in this specific supermarket I decided to check if they were still available. The guy who helped me went to check and returned a few minutes later with the very last box they had in stock.

The day of reckoning has come for this last box of Creme Eggs

To sum it up: I pranked people in a silly (yet successful) way and was extremely happy with a sheriff’s star and chocolate eggs. I am a 25-year-old man. Fuck yeah.
After returning to the hostel that afternoon we decided to check out the city of Bristol, which is pretty awesome. Just around the corner, there was an awesome pub called Shakespeare’s Tavern (Which we didn’t visit up until the last night for some reason), we were right across a strip of clubs, there was a little square with eateries and what not just down the street, and the supermarket was within a two-minute walking distance.

Neptune was there as well. He's cool.

We had dinner at a greasy snackjoint, where I had a delicious chicken burger, and then we went back to the hostel to kick it in the game room. We decided to turn in early that night, because we had to leave at 07.00 the next morning in order to get to the schools we were visiting in time.

Wednesday, April 28th – Elementary School, Uni, and the theatre

The goal of this day was to show us what elementary schools in Britain are like, and I have to admit that we reached that goal. We were divided into several groups, and each group would be visiting a different school. In the afternoon we would all be visiting the University of West England (UWE), where we would have some discussions with other student teachers on several topics having to do with teaching a class of pupils.
My group was assigned to Chipping Sodbury, a school located in a town with the same name in the Gloucestershire area. We got a tour around the building by two students and got to see a music lesson in action. It was really interesting to see how different the British system is from the Dutch system, while at the same time there are a lot of similarities. The music lesson was incredibly hectic and there was a lot of random keyboard bashing going on, but that did tell me one thing: British classes are just as loud and messy as Dutch classes.

Not pictured: Chipping Sodbury Comprehensive School

After the elementary schools we went to the UWE in Bristol. When we arrived there, they had changed their electronic sign to welcome us to the university, which was awesome to see. They even used the Dutch word for welcome to humour us.

We were actually pointing out that they spelled "Welcome" wrong and that we were appalled by the incapability of a British university spelling simple words in their own language

They started us off with a speech about their university, followed by an explanation of the British school systems (presented by one of their students) and of the Dutch school system (presented by two of our own). After that, there was a little talk about stereotypes in both countries. We had to fill out a worksheet with a human silhouette, where we had to draw in stereotypical aspects of the British.

Believe me, I was as surprised as you are when I found out about this

After the presentations we were divided into a couple of groups and we went to separate classrooms where we had some discussions on various topics like dealing with students with special needs, what you would do when one of your pupils dies during a school year, and motivating your pupils. I lead the motivation one with one of my colleagues, which went down pretty well. I didn’t have to do that much, actually, the rest did most of the talking and we gave them some questions to respond to.
Later that night, when we got back to the hostel, one of my mates and I decided to join a few others to see a musical, Blood Brothers, that was playing at the Hippodrome Theatre near our hostel. I hadn’t heard of it before, but apparently it has been playing in London since ’83, so it couldn’t be that bad.

I was blown away.

It was amazing. The actors were all brilliant and the music was beautiful. There was a lot of humour and I was sincerely laughing out loud most of the time. Of course, it has a dramatic ending and the transformation from a comedy to a drama went smoothly and naturally, with a climax that had me on the edge of my seat. If you ever get the chance to go and see it, I recommend that you take that chance with both hands and don’t let it go.

Mickey and Eddie, the main characters

The rest of the night was once again spent in the hostel’s lounge with a couple of pints and we went to bed fairly early again. Come to think of it, we didn’t actually go out at all. Well, most of our friends did, but me and a couple of others didn’t feel the need to get smashed every night. That, and I was exhausted from getting up early every day and too little sleep. But, even though I didn’t see the inside of any club, I still had a lot of fun, so I’m not bothered.

Thursday, April 29th – Politics, castles, and a pub

Acha heddiw s raglen was hymweliad at Cymru. We started out with a visit to the Welsh Assembly, where all the important political stuff was discussed. It was fairly interesting to see, and the guide told us that their building was the most environmental-friendly (political) building in all the world.

Politics: Serious Business

An hour and a half later we were on our way to see Cardiff Castle. By that time it had started raining a bit, so we felt right at home, but it didn’t change our moods and we arrived at the castle in high spirits.

Yes, I took this myself

Okay, that’s a lie, we were wet and hungry, but before we could eat we had the tour, which lasted for about 45 minutes. Thankfully, the tour was inside the castle, so as soon as we were warm and dry, the mood changed and we were exploring the several thematic rooms of the castle, which all looked impressively beautiful.

The roof of the Arabic Room

Outside the main castle there was another, smaller building called the keep which you could climb and which we did climb (after having lunch). It was on top of this tiny castle where I completed one of my life missions. After we climbed up all the way to the parapets, I felt the uncontrollable need to quote Monty Python And The Holy Grail, so I walked up to the waist-high wall, took a deep breath, and yelled “Your father is a hamster and your mother smells of elderberries!”
Sure, I got a few strange looks from the people back on the floor, but I felt a little more complete.

Fetchez la vache!

When we were done yelling stuff from the top of a castle, we went to roam through the city of Cardiff. It’s a lovely city to behold, even though the streets were broken up, with a lot of cool shops. I bought a few souvenirs for the people back home, as well as some for myself, and then it was time to head back for the bus again.
Back in Bristol, we had decided to finally check out Shakespeare’s Tavern (See, there it is) for dinner, and I am still glad that we did. It was an awesome pub, and the menu was hilarious, with a couple of witty jokes embedded in it.

I would've loved to have seen that

I decided to order the Shakespeare Fry Up. It didn’t say what was in it. Instead, the description read “There is an inverse relationship on how something tastes, and how good it is for you..”
Naturally, I had to have it.

It was epic

If you ever go to Bristol, eat at Shakespeare’s. This dish was incredible, and all the others were praising their food (burgers, fish ‘n chips, taters ‘n mash) as well. It’s not even that expensive (I paid £9,40 for the meal and a pint of bitter), so it’s well worth a visit.

Even though that night was Queensnight, some of us decided to stay in and pack up in advance, so that we would be able to get up bright and early the next morning, since the bus would leave at 07.00. We spent the time in our bedroom with some others and had a great night cracking jokes and hanging out, until we went to sleep around 01.00.

Friday, April 30th – Bye Bye Bristol

We got up as early as we could the next day to get good seats on the bus. We were beaten to it by our female classmates, but still managed to get comfortable. The bus left shortly after 07.00 and we arrived back in the Netherlands somewhere past 18.00. The trip was fairly quiet, since most people were asleep for most of the time. They played a couple of films (School Of Rock and Mamma Mia!), I got some sleep, I listened to some music and we cracked some jokes.
When we finally got back in Tilburg, my mother was already there to pick me up, so I said goodbye to my friends and headed back home.

That right there was the hardest part. After spending pretty much every second of every day with my friends, I was by myself again, just like that. Luckily, I had bought the Blood Brothers CD at the musical, so I spent most of the night uploading pictures while listening to that music.
Needless to say, I had a great time and it was a great experience, which I already miss. I got to know a lot of cool people and I got to know my classmates even better than I already did. That’s all I can say about it. The rest is up there, between the lines, or said flat-out, but it’s there.

/Rutger

Robocop (1987)